Funny Female Monologue From How to Kiss a Girl

The following monologue is from a one-act comedy How to Kiss a Girl by Wade Bradford. This one-act play is  a silly, sketch-styled play about a young man named Ken who desperately wants to know how to behave on a date, and even more desperately wants to figure out how and when he should make his move and kiss a girl for the very first time. Monologue Background In order to learn, he enlists the help of his highly advanced smartphone, Minerva. The Minerva device downloads tons of audio instructional information, crafted from centuries of information. not all of the advice, however, is useful to todays typical teen. Unfortunately, Ken is too clueless to realize, and he ends up downloading relationship advice from the 1950s, pre-Civil War America, and even Pilgrims and Pirates. Belle is one of the Audio Advice characters, and while Kens date is wolfing down her spaghetti and slurping ice tea like its going out of style, the refined Southern Belle teaches Ken how to read subtle signs from a proper lady. Much of this monologue involves the old fashioned art of fan language, so the actress performing the art should have an elegant fan to flutter during her scene. The Monologue BELLE: When you arrive at her doorstep, be prepared for a grand entrance. Stand courteously at the doorway, breathlessly awaiting her presence. Drink her in. You are mesmerized. Walk in a half circle around her, never breaking your gaze. And still breathless. Place your left hand behind your back, lift your hat with your right hand, and bow. (Pause.) And now you may breathe. Make certain that you have already prepared a charming compliment, do so in advance to avoid being tongue-tied. Tell her she looks as plump and pretty as a sweet Georgia peach. As radiant and glorious as the days before the civil war. That she makes your heart fire faster than a Gatling Gun. Begin your romantic adventure by extending your elbow so that the lady might take your arm. As you escort her to the carriage, be mindful of any mud puddles that may happen to be in your path. Instead of walking around the watery obstacle, remove your jacket, drape it to the ground, and insist that this lovely plump peach wal k upon the jacket as not to soil her pretty shoes. That is chivalry. As you ride together in the carriage, you might be wondering as to what is going through the mind of this delicate young flower. You may be tempted to talk of idle things, such as the weather, but I find it best if a gentleman sticks to the subject at hand, which is mainly the beauty of the young lady in his midst. This time, select a specific physical feature to complement. Preferably, something above her neckline. I suggest you compliment her eyes, lips, chin, and even perhaps her earlobes if you are feeling particularly bold this evening. Avoid making comments about a womans nose. Even kind words will make her self conscious. But you will notice, as the carriage ride continues, the lady speaks very little, yet she says much. (Produces a fan.) To discover the secrets of her feminine mind, simply observe the subtle signals she gives you with the movements of her fan. If the lady holds the fan with her left hand an d places it in front of her face, then she is desirous of your acquaintance. However, if she twirls her fan in her right hand, like so, then she wants to speak with you in private. Dropping the fan curtly means she simply wants to be friends, but if she presents her fan to you, shut closed thusly, she is asking: Do you love me? Now, this one is most important, so I hope you are paying attention. If the lovely lady presses a half-opened fan to her lips, that means, young man, that she wants to kiss you. Now, watch her closely: What message is she trying to convey to you? Note: This monologue could obviously be performed by one person. However, it could be further developed with a total of three performers. One actress delivering the monologue, while two other performers act out the scene being described.

Alienation of Willy Loman in Arthur Millers Death of a...

Willys Loneliness and Alienation in Death of a Salesman Willy Loman’s feelings of alienation and loneliness are direct psychological results of his interaction with society and the conditions that are found within it. Although, he does not necessarily have the ability or allow himself to have the ability to define his feelings as such, they are still very much a part of his everyday existence. This is evident in his constant bragging and attempted compensation. He does not feel that he is truly a part of society. Indeed, he is not. Miller himself seems to be saying that this is not necessarily a bad thing; this society is not that wonderful. Yet Willy still yearns to be like his brother, Ben, and the other men he sees making†¦show more content†¦Even the things he dreams of having for himself and for his family are shallow. He will never find relief from his search because even if he reaches his goals of modest financial success he would still be left wanting. Willy’s life teeters between these petty concrete objects and his grandiose verbal projections. In past, present, and fantasy, Willy expresses himself through clichà ©s and repetitions in a formulaic chant. However, he achieves neither popularity nor success as a salesman, and he fails as a gardener, mechanic, husband, father. (Martin 67) He cannot even achieve small goals. He has no real feeling of self-worth, and this lack of self-confidence is reinforced by society and Biff’s discovery of Willy’s infidelity. In speaking about his plays, Miller explained, â€Å"It is necessary, if one is to reflect reality, not only to depict why a man does what he does, or why he nearly didn’t do it, but why he cannot simply walk away and say to hell with it† (Eight ix). In the case of Death of a Salesman, it is Willy’s desperate hope of success that keeps him from committing suicide for so long. Eventually, however, he gives in to his feelings of depression and ends his life. It is the only viable solution he sees at this point. In another writing, Miller said, â€Å"My impulse isShow MoreRelatedDeath of a Salesman - Materialism Alienation1696 Words   |  7 PagesModern Tragedies deal with modern issues such as materialism, consumerism, procrastination and alienation. To what extent does Death of a Salesman show evidence of at least two of these issues, and how does Miller present them? Arthur Miller’s ‘Death of a Salesman’ is a modern tragedy; one that incorporates both the tragic genre presented in theatres for centuries as well as essences of the modern world we live in. Materialism is a modern phenomenon, something which possibly began due to the AmericanRead MoreArthur Miller s Death Of A Salesman1027 Words   |  5 PagesAn Analysis of Tragic Heroism of Biff Loman in Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller This literary study will define the tragic heroism of Biff Loman in Arthur Miller’s play The Death of a Salesman. 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Abraham Moslow Essay - 1626 Words

Abraham Moslow The theorist I chose was Maslow, he was born in 1908 in Brooklyn, New York. He was the first of seven children born to his parents, Jewish immigrants from Russia. His parents, hoping for the best for their children in the New World, pushed him hard for academic success. He became the psychologist who many people consider the founder of a movement called humanistic psychology. The movement developed as a revolt against behaviorism and psychoanalysis, the two most popular psychological views of the mid- 1900’s. Humanistic psychologists believe individuals are controlled by their own values and choices and not by the environment, as behaviorists think, or by unconscious drives, as psychoanalyst believe. Maslow stressed†¦show more content†¦In our day to day life we exhibit these needs in our desires to marry, have a family be a part of a community, a member of church, brother part of a fraternity, a part of a gang or a bowling club. It is also a part of what we look for in a career. The esteem needs. Next we begin to look for a little self-esteem. Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs, a lower one and a higher one. The lower one is the need for the respect of others, the need for status, fame, glory, recognition, attention, reputation, appreciation, dignity, even dominance. The higher form involves the need for self-respect, including such feelings as confidence, competence, achievement, mastery, independence, and freedom. This is the â€Å"higher† form because, unlike the respect of others, once we have self-respect, it is a much harder to lose. The negative version of these needs is low self-esteem and weakness complexes. Maslow felt that Adler was onto something when he stated that these were at the roots of many, even of our psychological difficulties. In modern countries, many of us have what we need in regard to our physiological and safety needs. Sometimes we even have reasonable amount of love and sense of belonging. It is a respect that often seems hard to get! The next four levels Maslow calls deficit needs, or D-needs. If you do not have an adequate amount of something it would make it a deficit .We feelShow MoreRelated Socioeconomic Factors that Lure Individuals into Gangs608 Words   |  2 Pagesan underclass, and the enticement of what being a gang member offers the individual. The gang may offer the individual security, acceptance, and help just surviving. The basic needs an individual must fulfill was first addressed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1951. He proposed that a hierarchy of needs existed. This hierarchy of needs are five basic needs that have to be fulfilled. The first need is physiological. This is the basic survival needs such as shelter, food, and water. This need

Japanese Negotiations Essay Example For Students

Japanese Negotiations Essay Japanese NegotiationWhen thinking about negotiations one might not realize how often that we negotiate in our everyday lives. Almost every activity that we do, especially when involving more than just ourselves, involves negotiations in some way, such as should we eat at Burger King or at McDonalds. You negotiate with someone else or even yourself in your decision. Negotiations are also very important in business dealings. The negotiation can make or break a business deal and even ruin the relationship of the two parties. Negotiations are a fine art that is very difficult to master, if the mastering of it is even possible. Different people negotiate in different ways, but every society follows the same basic guidelines for the most part. This is not true whenever you look at different cultures and their negotiation styles and tactics. Sometimes these styles can be very different from what we have grown a custom to. The United States for example has negotiation styles and rules that d iffer quit a bit from those of the Japanese. This is why it is important to keep these differences in mind when dealing with the Japanese whether it involves business or personal issues. For the sake of simplicity, we will be looking mainly at the business aspect of negotiations. This report will cover the basics of negotiation with the Japanese. This is only a brief guideline; one should keep in mind that if you are planning to take this subject further much more research should be done to fully understand all aspects of this area. The beginning of a negotiation can be a very critical one. For the most part, Americans want to jump right in a get down to business. This is do in mainly to our society and it’s fast paced way of doing business. We live in a fast paced world and feel that things need to be done quickly. This is not the same feeling shared by the Japanese though. When negotiating with Japanese, they like to take the time to get to know the other party first. They give great importance to trust when dealing with others. They need to know more about the other party in order to achieve trust in them. If Americans expect a negotiation with Japanese within the U.S. framework of a brief introduction, discussion of technical matters, supply and cost bargaining, and closing, they will surely be disappointed. Japanese, on the other hand, will feel rushed and pressured if they discover they will not spend much time finding out about the school backgrounds, relative company status, and family backgrounds of U. S. negotiators. Japanese need to feel a sense of harmony and cooperation. Without this phatic communication, of what from a U.S. perspective is trivial information (but nonetheless has an important function of building trust). Japanese feel that their relationship is not anchored and may drift. This is an uneasy situation in the extremely competitive world of Japanese business (McCreary p25-26). After this information is shared the Japanese will feel that they can enter into the negotiations. The negotiation normally follows the same pattern, or stages. After the introduction and the gathering of trust, the next stage is usually made up of the technical details of the product. The Japanese often insist on every single detail being explained several times. This once again is due to the issue of trust. They try to see if the details vary at all. The bargaining stage normally follows next. The U.S. style of negotiations normally causes the U.S. team to focus on prices that will be too high or too low. In contrary, Japanese normally shot for prices that are more reasonable. More of this will be discussed later. The final stage involves the strategies that lead to the signing of the contract. It is very important to keep in mind that the Japanese feel that a product that is not up to standard, that was presented in the negotiation are looked on as being shameful to the individual. They value the honesty of a deal and those invol ved in the deal very much. When doing business, many American companies rely on contracts to bind the agreement. The contract is looked at as the tangible goal of most business negotiations. Without a contract or some type of written agreement it is very unlikely the deal will last. It is very unlikely, that if a problem occurs and a third party is needed to solve that problem, that the deal will even be recognized without a contract. This is different to the Japanese way of business. Contracts are foreign to the Japanese way of doing business, and Americans would do well to keep this fact in mind when doing business with the Japanese (Zimmerman, p.91). This dislike of contracts once again relates to the importance that Japanese put into trust and integrity. Many Japanese will not even bother to read a contract before signing it because they don’t attach substantive importance to it (Ibid, p.91). Although this practice is okay to do in Japan it often causes problems in the U.S. and other Western areas. This is also troublesome when someone who does value a contract finds that there may be no punishment in Japan if the contract is broken. This is why it is very important that both parties have a mutual understanding of the contract and what it entails prior to the signing. If this is not done than one of the parties, if not both, have a good chance of being upset by some future happening. This would not only be unfortunate at the time of the occurrence but it could also lead to the two parties ending any type of relationship which could hurt both parties morally and financially. Part of the suspicion that the Japanese have toward contracts derives from the change in their situation over the past thirty years (Ibid. p.93). This suspicion is caused by the Japanese distrust of the foreign partners that they dealt with in the sixties and seventies. During this time of rebuilding they depended on others for much of the technology needed to rebuild their country. Now that they have gained a competitive edge in today’s technology, they do not want to deal with the same partners as before. It is beneficial to any firm doing business with the Japanese to assure them that both are on equal ground and will receive equal and fair treatment and respect. This will help the Japanese feel more comfortable about a contract and more willing to sign and agree with one. There is also a pact per say with the Japanese national bank that allows Japanese countries to render some of the financial burdens of a contract if the bank is notified of the contract and approves it at least thirty days in advance. This relieves some of the tension involved with signing the contracts. There are four important, complex, and interrelated Japanese concepts that have a strong influence on how the Japanese do business and conduct their personal lives (Ibid. p.64). These four concepts are Nintai (patience), kao (face), giri (duties), and on (obligations). Nintai, all though there is no direct English translation, means in a business context that one has the endurance and intellectual capability to uncover methodically and carefully every factor that might have even the slightest bearing on a business decision or the outcome of a negotiation. This includes many aspects of negotiations including the sides taking enough time to think about and thoroughly prepare themselves for the negotiations. If you are lacking in nintai you run the risk of constantly being in danger of losing kao (face). Kao is considered to be the most precious commodity a Japanese has. When someone in Japan has a spotless kao they are looked upon buy their peers, employers, coworkers and family as bei ng in tune with society. One of the worst mistakes anyone can make in their dealings with Japanese is to put down their work and embarrass them in front of others. The best action to take if you are not pleased with some ones work is to talk to them in private. You must try to be very gentle in your explanation of your dissatisfaction and emphasize on the person’s strong points. If you do not take extreme care in this you are sure to upset the person and could possible earn a lifetime enemy. The last two concepts that one needs to understand is that of giri (duties) and on (obligations). To help understand the importance of these two concepts one must comprehend one fact about the Japanese. The Japanese tend to take every debt and obligation received during life as a personal weight on their shoulders. Although through repayment of favors and help, these debts can be somewhat repaid but they can never be fully restored. A more accurate description of on is the obligation incu rred by giving and granting major favors, such as giving birth or taking care of some ones education. When one receives on from another it is expected that they spend most of their life trying to repay it in some form, although the Japanese feel that you can never fully repay the debt. Of the two concepts, giri seems to be the less serious of the two (Ibid, p.64). Giri is the exchange of small debts and obligations that occur on an everyday basis. Such examples would be the giving of a small gift to another. Giri even takes into consideration the welcome that you receive when walking into a Japanese restaurant. You are not expected though to spend your life trying to repay this gift though. It is taken that everyone gives and receives giri several times throughout a normal day. One must keep in mind that in the Japanese society one cannot escape the massive web of obligation created by giving and receiving gifts. It is very important to also remember that next to insulting ones kao is to refuse a gift. Heroin EssayAs touched on before, it is not always in the best interest of Americans to use translators. It could put the American party at a disadvantage allowing the Japanese to reach a beneficial agreement easier. It is important thought if you are using a translator that you take the proper steps to ensure that you will be represented as accurately as possible. There are certain steps that you can take in order to make sure that you are represented as accurately as possible. You should try to get a translator who is familiar with the specific field that you are going to be dealing with. You need to speak slowly and distinctly and try to avoid using slang, sport talk, obscure expressions, or superfluous words. It is wise to brief your translator ahead of time as thoroughly as possible. If you are giving a talk or presentation, give them a copy of it and allow them time to review it and ask any questions they might have regarding words or language you might be planning to use. If you do not have a copy try to cover the major points that you will be discussing so they are clear on what you are trying to convey. Use short sentences and do not talk to long without a pause. This allows the translator to better translate what you have said and it also keeps the other party from having to sit a long time without understanding what is being said. When speaking look at your counterpart, not at the translator, and try to avoid making assumptions of any king. If your interpreter asks you many questions that seem unwarranted, get a new interpreter (Rowland p.68). It is also a smart choice to get your own translator instead of using one that the company that you are dealing with has provided you. It is also beneficial sometimes to use an older translator because they can lend you credibility and respectability, however they might not be as fluent in the English language. It is also important that you are very patient and take plenty of breaks to allow the translator to relax and also use this time to gain any insight that you might be able to get from the translator. It might best be said that a negotiation with Japanese is â€Å"closed† when U.S. negotiators and their company have convinced the Japanese of their credibility, trustworthiness, and long-term commitment (McCreary p.67). A sense of closing a negotiation can occur in a very early stage of negotiating or it can occur after the exchange of money or gifts. No matter when it is achieved one thing is for certain. It is very unlikely that a negotiation will be closed before the Japanese feel a sense of trust in the other party. It is important that the Japanese do not feel rushed or bullied into an agreement, if this is the case the negotiation is sure to fail. It is important that patience, functionally speaking and the ability to wait out the Japanese side is used and always kept in mind. The Japanese also double-check just about every detail and then ask for further explanation. The reason for this is that Japanese believe information gathering is one of the ways they can become m ore confident and comfortable with a new business arrangement (McCreary p.67). When negotiating with the Japanese it is critical that you keep in mind that the Japanese have a certain way that they want to do business and if you want to close a negotiation with the Japanese you need to play by their rules. When trying to master the art of negotiations it is very important that you keep numerous tactics and skills in mind. You need to be aware of whom you are negotiating with and their principles and ground rules for negotiations. Not everyone goes about negotiating in the same manner. There are as many ways to negotiate, as there are people to negotiate with. Obviously, we are only human and make mistakes. It is also true, that when dealing with the Japanese, some will expect you to follow their guidelines and some will follow ours. If is a giant guessing game and the best way to be prepared is to study your counterpart. If you go into the negotiation planning on using their ground rules, you will have a much better chance at success. It is very important to keep in mind that when you are negotiating with the Japanese that trust is a major key of how well the proceedings will go. Without mutual trust, it is very unlikely that the negotiations will be of much use. It is also necessary t hat you have patience and do not offend your Japanese counterpart. If you keep in mind the important proceedings regarding Japanese negotiations and you have a good game plan, you will have great success in your dealings with the Japanese. It is also very likely that once you have dealt with a Japanese business and everything went well it would be easy to continue business with them. BibliographyBibliographyFaure, Guy Olivier. Culture and Negotiation; Sage Publications, Newbury Park, CA, 1993McCreary, Don. Japanese-U.S. Business Negotiations; A Cross-Cultural Study, Praeger Publishers, New York, NY, 1986Nicholson, Michael. International Relations; New York University Press, New York, NY, 1998Rowland, Diana. Japanese Business Etiquette; A Practical Guide to Success with the Japanese; Warner Books, Inc., New York, NY, 1993Tenhover, Gregory. Unlocking the Japanese Business Mind; Transemantics, Inc., Washington, DC, 1994Zimmerman, Mark. How to do Business with the Japanese, Charles E. Turtle Co., Tokyo, Japan, 1987Business Essays